Friday, March 9, 2012

Whoa: The 3DS is all like, 3D

So, have you ever noticed that everything is like, in 3D? I know statements like that make you question my sobriety but I assure you I am not high. I didn’t just do a doobie or fuck up the rotation and I don’t like, love you man. It’s not that I don’t like you. I’m not saying we can’t be friends, or that we aren’t but, love is such a strong word… You know what, let’s start over.

I just got a 3DS.

I have wanted one of these for a long time. They came out when I was living in Japan. But I didn’t buy one then because they were region locked and I wouldn’t be able to play American games on a Japanese system. Every time I saw in one an electronics shop, however, I always played it.

When I got back to the US I didn’t go out and buy one immediately. I thought about it, but it was rather expensive and I was no longer getting the fat English teacher paycheck that I got in Japan. When Nintendo dropped the price I still didn’t buy one. I felt that there were no games that I needed to play.


Sure, there was Starfox 64 3D but I played that on the 64, as well as the Wii virtual console. There was also Pilot Wings Resort, which looked like fun but didn’t look quite as fun as earlier installments of the brand. If I had the console I would of course get these games, but they weren’t strong enough titles to validate purchasing one. Of course, the lack of an amazing game is what made the console’s launch so weak.

Super Mario 3D Land was the first real reason to break down and pick up a 3DS. People were saying that this was the first game that actually used the hardware properly. Shortly after that, Mario Kart 7 came out and the reasons to buy this thing were piling up. But even after these two games came out I still didn’t buy the handheld. I wanted one, I just never got around to it. There were things to do, naps to take and hot dogs to eat. I was busy.

I was finally given a 3DS as a gift and I haven’t been able to put it down. The thing about portable game systems is that are portable. They can go wherever you go and this thing has gone with me everywhere. I even play it while I play other games.

I know some people think the 3D is stupid and can’t possibly make a game better and I think those people are wrong. And dumb. Well, I mean, they have a point. Adding a third dimension to games just for the hell of it is stupid, just like it is with movies (I’m looking at you The Last Airbender). Unless developers incorporate 3D into the game-play, it just looks kind of cool. And is dumb. But there is so much more that can be done with that extra D.

That was the issue with the launch titles, they didn’t take advantage of the capabilities of the machine. As usual, Nintendo needs to show other companies how to use their hardware. Games like Super Mario 3D Land and Mario Kart 7 use the technology right, the 3D is not just gimmick; it’s an essential element of the game.

Needless to say, or I guess say again, I am playing this thing a lot and it’s been messing with my mind a bit. After an hour or more staring at the screen, I begin to notice how the world is itself, 3D. As walk down the hall I appreciate how things move behind me as I pass them. I’ve started to look at things at all angles, after I make a sandwich I admire its edges and I’ve spent a lot of time looking at my hands. In reality, people overlook that third dimension. It’s under appreciated. I mean, have you seen a sandwich? I mean like, really seen one?

You know what? I don’t think there is a way to talk about this while sounding sober.
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